A quick look at Fusion King’s menu shows a dizzying array of foods at incredible prices.
The restaurant is defiantly unfancy – so if you prefer thrills to frills it’s the place to go for Chinese, Japanese, Mexican, Thai, Korean, Italian or Mongolian.
And if that all sounds a bit too foreign for you or your unadventurous partner, there’s always the Jacket Potato or Baguette of Shame.
Takeaway prices are the same as eat-in, and it’s pretty spartan.
Food is eaten from the box, cutlery is plastic, and the tables are plastic-topped.
But it’s clean, the turnover of happy punters is brisk, and there’s a reassuring 5* Hygiene notice in the window.
A table by the window became free as we arrived.
We stared at the menu.
It’s immense, with seemingly every regional cuisine covered.
The dearest meal is £6, which surely flirts with insolvency. It blows even Wetherspoons out of the water.
There’s a lot of choice, but it’s not too bewildering, with lots of different variations on similar themes: if you like sweet chilli chicken you can have it on a quesadilla, a baguette, with noodles or with fries.
We ordered Korean style pork chop with fries (£5), Pork Belly Pad Thai (£6) and a side of Mongolian Boneless ribs (£3.50).
We also had a bottle of Asahi Japanese beer (£2.50) and a bottle of water (£1).
That’s £18 in total – silly money!
Just make sure you actually have money – it’s cash only.
The food arrived quickly.
Bethan’s Pork Belly Pad Thai was delicious.
This posh chow mein had plenty of tasty meat, the flat rice noodles were really well integrated into the dish, and the spicing was mild (you can choose your level of heat when ordering) but full.
I was a bit cross, because I preferred it to my Korean Pork Chop.
This had been breadcrumbed and fried, with a tasty sauce, and then sliced up.
The sauce was great, the meat was soft, the breadcrumbs were ungreasy.
I just felt a bit foolish for having ordered french fries – partly because they had no place here, partly because I don’t like these thin, fast food fries. But the public demands them, so Fusion King have to serve them.
I should have had rice. #MyMistake.
The Mongolian ribs (not quite as boneless as advertised) split the room.
Bethan thought they were too sweet. I want to know what the hell is wrong with sweet!!
I thought they were delish – massive flavours similar to a good hoisin, plenty of meat, a rich & sticky sauce. £3.50? It’s a laugh.
Yes, we loved the food, but I am wary of going too over the top as many people will find it a bit basic. It’s a long time since I’ve eaten with plastic cutlery.
Fusion King is really a very good takeaway, that kindly lets you eat-in as well.
If you see it as a very thoughtful takeaway, rather than an alarmingly austere restaurant, you’ll be delighted.
Fusion King makes a mockery of questions of culinary culture or tradition – and they seem to agree with philosopher Kwame Anthony Appiah, who has written eloquently about how race and nationality are irrelevant inventions.
If you want to have Spaghetti Carbonara, Chicken Rendang and an ice cream fritter then go ahead – no one’s going to shout at you here (unlike the idiots who fume about chorizo in paella).
If people want to make up a fake-druid culture for the Eisteddfod then good luck to them.
However, the one thing Fusion King doesn’t do is “fusion”, despite declaring themselves king of it.
“Fusion” in cooking is a mix of styles in one dish – Chicken Madras pizza or the Americans adding avocado to sushi to create the California Roll.
They are Choice King, just not Fusion King.
Our two mains and a side left us very full, and we only had cheese and wine for tea.
A main alone would be fine if you’re only Normal Hungry.
If you fancy an unpretentious, top value tasty meal, I would urge you to give Fusion King a try as soon as you can.
31 Eastgate, Aberystwyth SY23 2AS