Blackpool Pleasure Beach Speedy Pass

I love Blackpool.
I know a review of the Speedy Pass scheme at Blackpool Pleasure Beach (BPB) is a little beyond the scope of an Aberystwyth food blog, but I feel passionately that it is a disgrace to the people of England, and a potent symbol of the moral bankruptcy of British people today.
I don’t understand how and when pushing into queues become socially acceptable.

BPB is celebrating its 120th birthday at the moment, and I feel I’ve been with them most of the way.
I went on the Revolution & Big One rides as soon as they opened, and have taken my nephews to the park as soon as they were old enough to feel fear then elation.

So I was horrified to learn on a recent visit that the park is now encouraging people to buy a Speedy Pass.
There are different levels and costs, but the result it the same – people can now pay to push in.
The queues are always the worst thing about theme parks, I know, but the solution is not to let people pay to jump the queues. That just means others wait even longer.
My nephews queued for the Big One for 35 minutes, and just as they were about to get on their prized front seat, people from the Speedy Queue kept them from their prize.
They had sneaked up the exit ramp like guilty rats and pushed in ahead of two lovely little lads.
Jumpers 2“How are they are able to push in ahead of us, Auntie?” they asked me, tearfully. “We’ve been waiting here ages!”
Well, how could I answer them?

Waiting your turn is fair, and our family likes to believe in a fair country.
People deliberately pushing in, without any shame, shows where our country has now sunk.
Paying to push in doesn’t make it right.
Jumpers 1I shook my head and tried to explain to the children that these people were selfish and horrible, like the criminals who ruin society for everyone.
At about the same moral level as thieves, burglars and flashers.

But that’s only part of the story.
A second, greater shame lies with Blackpool Pleasure Beach, a once proud & decent company, now encouraging the morally and spiritually weak to jump queues.
“Go on”, say these venal corrupters of our country,  “pushing in isn’t bad. You deserve it!”
Look at the proud history of BPB, and weep at the craven venality of the current generation of the Thompson family.
The original motto talked of “inspiring gaiety of a primarily innocent character“. It doesn’t mention corrupting the moral character of our country.

But the blame also lies with a third set of people.
The bovine customers who meekly accept it.
Once, British people stood up for what was right.
We still worship the generation who stood up to Hitler and fought for our freedoms.
Now we stand by, and watch people paying to jump a queue.
Not a sound is made, not a shout of “Pushing In”.

The Jumpers don’t catch our eyes, and look away, rightly embarrassed.
We look away too, ashamed of what people have become.

I thought they were supposed to be blunt, honest, unafraid to stand up to blatant unfairness in front of them.
When did Northerners become supine cowards, letting the worst people in society walk all over them?

The Speedy Pass people try to justify paying to push in by saying it saves them time – we know that! We know pushing in suits you!
I am fit, strong and determined.
I could easily push the weaklings out of the way and get myself to the front of the queue, and I wouldn’t even have to pay.
But that doesn’t make it right.

Don’t accept it.
If I, an old woman, was able to shout “Pushing In!” every time I saw it, then why can’t fit and healthy young people? People shrugged at me – “What can we do?”
We could start fighting back.
It doesn’t take much.
Liverpool fans left a game early, and the owners backed down right away.
If we stood up to the Thompson family, if we didn’t give up our seat to someone who had stolen it, then we could start to take our country back from greedy people, greedy companies.
We could get rid of the shame.


8 thoughts on “Blackpool Pleasure Beach Speedy Pass”

  1. For those that do not drive need to make sure it’s worthwhile for the children’s sake when considering time spent getting to & from places like this,,as cannot leave as late as some or arrive as early as some (those that drive) so speedy pass is a definite thrill of a day when it’s those that don’t get to enjoy days such as this as often as,,say those that drive or those that can/do theme park visits/days out more often than those that can afford such things,,

    1. I agree it saves time, Rowena. Pushing in always saves time.
      I could easily push to the front of the queue using muscle and determination, but it would be morally wrong.
      Paying to push in is still pushing in, and in Britain that used to be seen as wrong.
      The queues aren’t even that bad at BPB – the only problems are caused by fitting in the queue jumpers (esp on rides like Ice Blast with fewer seats).

  2. Well said John!!
    I have been going to Blackpool Pleasure Beach with my family since i was a baby and now enjoy taking my own children. I didnt buy a speedy pass but queued with my hubby and our girls last time, we got on enough rides through doing it the ‘proper’ way and did ride as a single rider when the girls couldn’t go on some of them,and didn’t moan about most of those a who did purchase a a speedy pass. The people we did grumble about were the ones that saw fit to constantly queue jump on the children’s rides when they were clearly too old for them.
    Since when does a 16 year old need to go on the Nickelodeon rides? Yes Avatar Airbender is not for small children but the rest are. There is no need for a 16 year old to go on the Rugrat’s ride or Sponge Bob.
    Our girls will be 6 & 8 when we go in October and YES i am going to purchase a speedy pass for one reason, our 8 year old is already 133cm tall and she would like to go on the big rides with either myself or her dad. I am not about to make her stand in a queue for the better part of an hour and a half just to get on the Big One while her sister gets to walk straight onto the smaller rides.
    She will not be joining in with the practice of getting off a ride just to run back round to go on it repeatedly, like a lot of people seem to do with a speedy pass, but will wait her turn just like those without one if her sister wants to ride something with her.
    I do not spoil or give my children anything and everything but i will give them the best experience i can and if that means, as The Lady puts it, ‘Pushing In’ then i will!! I live in the North East and am by no means afraid to stand up to people, we save our money up to take our girls places, they are brought up with the same morals i was, you wait your turn, also ‘I want never gets, but may i stands a chance’. Can you tell me what 8 year old is able to stand for close to 2 hours waiting to do something? I myself don’t know any and am not about to let my daughter have a bad day out that had cost close to £250 when you factor everything in, if a speedy pass add to her day then so be it.

  3. Most theme parks have dedicated picnic areas. A notable exception is Blackpool Pleasure Beach, which says that picnics are not permitted beyond the main entrance “due to limited space”– although exceptions are made for school parties, and there is a picnic area with tables and umbrellas just outside.

  4. What a fantastic article. As someone who loves visiting Blackpool Pleasure Beach I can only agree with everything that you have said, queue jumping is just wrong whether it is paid or otherwise.

    1. Thank you for your prompt support, Jamie!
      I only normally write about food in Ceredigion, but was so outraged by this I had to share my rage.
      We had an excellent day otherwise, of course.

      1. Hi i went to blackpool in 2015 and i was waiting in the queue and someone with a speed pass got on my space, but i didn’t moan and wine about it because i knew if i saved my money i would be able to get one next time and i did, and yes there were some people who were moaning about it but i knew i had nothing to be ashamed about because I’m not some sort of snob, I’m from a working class background and i hate snobs but use some sense.

        its not different from everyday life why should some people have a car and people like me have to get the buss and have all the hassle that goes along with it, well the answer to that is i may have a car one day and wont have to take the buss, the car is the speed pass its get you places faster its like saying people who have a car should be ashamed.

        1. Perfect retort, what a foolish initial post, that’s snobby in my eyes, so someone pays an extra tenner to not stand in a queue makes society wrong, have a word with yourself you jobsworth self righteous fool.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *